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Where Beauty comes from Within


Aiko Kitsune



January 5th, 2009

Change of Plans

Nature/ the road
So yeah I haven't been on here in a long time. But then a lot of crazy things happened like um hmmm Jeremy moving in here instead of me moving to Michigan. Plus the holidays and all the hectic hell that was at work plus everyone and their brother getting sick back in Deli department. Oh yeah I soooo loved that.

I got sick too which didn't help for me...hell I'm still sick and instead of the cold going away it fucking settled in my chest. Attacking my asthma. Le sigh. And Its hard to breathe right now, I call the doctor in the morning to make an appointment. Because lets face it, breathing is more important than some other things in this world.

Alright here's the reason I posted this journal. The big change came around recently when my mate moved in here. The change is this since a lot of shit has recently hit and I'm not naming no names and getting drama brought out. I already said no to the damn drama. But with how many friends I recently freakin' lost. Jeremy and I made the decision to move to Longview Washington near Kelso, WA so that we're near his family base because honestly my mom doesn't care. She is happy with where-ever I settle. I thought I HAD to settle somewhere close but after a heart to heart with her, she said I don't have to that "Grandma" can come visit and I can come here or where-ever she decides to stay for the rest of her life after she retires.

We aren't moving right away so don't even TRY to be like..."WTF" in my face just yet. We're moving after a year. Just to make this clear. We're both going to save up once he gets a job so that we'll have enough to move and get a place and he's got a lot of family there, plus friends to help if need be.

I've always wanted to live in a place where the ocean met the forest and I can get to, I want to raise a family there, and I'm not afraid of leavin' Jersey for an adventure because that's what this is. Adventure and although I believe in reincarnation, I'm in the here and now and I want to experience all I can...

I have always been a free spirit of sorts and its not like I can't come back and visit my friends or they can't come see me.

I'll try to post more to this thing. Now that hell hectic holidays are over, maybe I can. At least I finally got what I wanted this Christmas. To spend it with someone other than my mom, my fiancee Jeremy. I love him, and I can't wait to start my life with him. -snuggles her foxy-

P.S. - Jeremy recently overdid the hard drive so I lost some addresses. I'd like some addresses back. Jess is one of them so is Jason...leave me a comment and I'll look to see if I still have the address for you or not. Mews.

October 2nd, 2008

(no subject)

Aiko Kitsune
My Valentinr - aikokitsune
Get your own valentinr

My Life...New Beginnings

Nature/ the road
I know its been a long time since I've updated and most of my friends have been wondering what is going on with me. Just the majority of what is going on right now is stress from work, its seriously gotten really bad to work there. I come home and all I want to do is de-stress by playing WoW on the fun server or retreat and talk to Jeremy. I know its not fair to anyone but I've also been packing up things, because in January even the latest as the first week of February I'm moving to Michigan.

I will be close enough I think to my mother that if something did happen, I could be home within 9 hours. Faster in flight. But I will be home, and I take comfort in that. Most of my friends will be able to get to me because I won't be that far away and once I get a house with Jeremy, we will make sure there is one bedroom designated for visitors, so there is always a guest bedroom.

I'm starting my life there, we want to find a house that we can fix up together and live in, get married and start a family there. And I'm ready, I might still not know what I want to do with my life but I've thought about maybe selling my jewelry and other crafts to craft shows and on E-bay maybe create a little business of sorts. Something that I can do from home with something I love.

And who knows maybe I might get a job at a pagan store, I think I'd really like that. To help future witches find their niche in life, that makes me smile, at least if I'm helping someone with what is already my passion of tea making to heal.

I know I have kept Jeremy kinda a secret but it was not without a reason. He makes me really happy, I smile and even when we fight because we have had a few we resolve them that night, not the next day, not the next week or month. We resolve it right then and that alone makes me smile that we're able to make compromises. I could be cliche and say we fit like a puzzle piece but its more than that and I am happy. I'm ready to leave the darkness of my past behind me and just walk forward. Its time to leave her, the person I used to be and show the butterfly I've become. Its taken so long for her to shine, but I'm moving myself towards that direction. And someday I'll be a mom too and to me, that prospect already makes me smile, I can't wait for that adventure.

I have been facing a lot of demons lately of my past, and I've realized that they show lots of fears that need to be resolved and laid to rest, so that I can move on and fully heal from. No more blaming, no more crying over things that are long gone, they happened and what did I learn from them? I learned a lot and I'm ready to push forward.

It might be a little rocky once I move by February but once I settle down there and start a job or something, then I hope that I'll find a better time schedule and see my friends. I miss you all, miss your talks and miss being able to help. I'm sorry I have been stressed out and dealing with life, I know its not much my apology but I hope you can find solace in the knowing that I know, that finding the time for you, is a main priority.

September 3rd, 2008

Schedule of the Week

Sunday - 4pm - 8pm

Monday - 5pm - 10pm

Tuesday - None

Wednesday - 6pm - 11pm

Thursday - 5pm - 11pm

Friday - 5pm - 11pm

Saturday - 11am - 4pm (yeah I know I'm gonna die)

July 31st, 2008


Smiling Be Scared
For a bit of time now I haven't told much of anyone about my current relationship, mainly because on here, I didn't want to jinx it. I wanted to see for myself if this was the real deal before I put it out there in web-space for everyone to see. Before I announced it to the entire world, or at least those who read this journal, I wanted to make sure first.

And I am.

JeremyCollapse )

Well now that I wrote a novel...I'm gonna go back to cuddling next to him at the moment. Even though the poor thing is fast asleep because he worked an 8 hour shift at the General Mills Plant.

July 23rd, 2008

Just a small note

OMG Wookie / Pants
Just a small note to let everyone know.

I'm going for 2 weeks. To see Jeremy ^^ yay!!!

Alright alright when I get home I'll gush.

I leave Thursday 24 by bus and I'll get there friday morning

Then I leave Aug 6th and I'll be home Aug 7th


I'll try to check email while I'm there and snuggles to everyone

July 18th, 2008

RIP 7 years

Holding On
I don't really ever talk about my dad and normally when someone asks me I always answer I loved him for the good times and hated him for the monster he was when he drank.

This day of all days I sit down and think about him looking back on this day 7 years ago I don't know why I still think about it but I do. Its the day he died and I remember it in detail because he died before me. And maybe that's what makes the difference.

I remember I was in summer school for geometry because I completely failed before and he was in a hospice bed downstairs in the living room. I went that day and took a test, I got a B plus on it and came home to show him even though he couldn't recognize me because the cancer had gotten in his blood stream and he was getting delusional and he didn't know who I was anymore. But I came home to show him even though he didn't know who I was. A hospice pasture came over to the house to see how my dad was doing and he talked to my dad even though my dad didn't know who he was and he talked with my mom and I for a little. And he touched my dad's shoulder and he looked at us and told us that it might be time. We told my dad that we didn't want him to suffer anymore, that we'd be okay. That we loved him and for him to just let go. The pasture said a prayer for my dad and he jerked a few times. My hand was on his shoulder and I felt his spasm and then he was gone. That image will remain with me for a long time, I think. Because afterwards I sat in the truck and listened to his Grease tape just crying.

I don't know how I feel 7 years later and everytime this year comes around, I still think about him. I still think about this day and I can't stop. Its just who I am, I look back. And I guess I wonder the most on this day, if he would have been proud of me or not. Of the person I became.

RIP Thomas Christian Forman July 18, 2001 - even though we didn't get along all the time and we used to fight, I still miss you and I love you.

June 22nd, 2008

well not much to update I know I know I have been gone and I will report everything its just its been basically this:

Stress at work...
Sleeping for work...
Getting ready for the wedding...
At home issues with my mother...(don't ask please)
More Stress at work with co-workers
Working on the house to clean it...(you have no idea...and I'm not even done)
And then quick stuff for the wedding, then packing for the wedding...
Going to Disneyworld for the fucking wedding...
Dealt with my Aunt that makes me feel 2 inches tall and she's the prim proper preppie (say that one ten times fast)
Met new friends of my mother's friend's children ^-^
Rush rush rush to get stuff together and packed and now...
And now I'm home.

I think that sums it all up there. If you have questions please put all comments below this blog entry. And I will be sure to answer them. I am alive...I am not sick anymore I was there some where in that stress...but I am alive.

Is that better?

May 18th, 2008

Schedule of the week

OMG Wookie / Pants
Okay so Here's the schedule for the week.

Sunday - 5pm - 10pm

Monday - None

Tuesday - 5pm - 11pm

Wednesday - 5pm - 11pm

Thursday - None

Friday - 5pm - 10pm

Saturday - 5pm - 11pm

That's the schedule this week everyone. Just so you know...

May 12th, 2008

(no subject)

Aiko Kitsune

Amorous Minx Administering Naughty Delights and Affection

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